I have suffered from more than my fare share of stress. I've had the counselling, but having spent some time with Gordon from the centre for human recourse development, I've actually found myself putting into practice this whole concept of realising my needs to some success. My stress level seems to have dropped and I've started to question the events that cause me stress.

One classic case involved the time a lady entered our opticians. "Ron" she shouted to her husband "sit there", here we go I though as I felt the surge of adrenaline rush through my body. "I want one of your thirty day money back guarantees with my spectacles" she demanded.

Initially I felt intimidated by her presence, and she obviously enjoyed a position of control. As we discussed her new spectacles, I thought of my sore feelings, intimidation especially, and wondered why this lady felt the need to act in such a way. She must have had a very bad childhood I thought. Suddenly my feelings of intimidation where replaced with pity for this poor person. At once the stress receded. My attitude to her must have subtly changed because she dropped her guard and I was able to relate to the real person beneath. I believe she felt this change as well and embraced it because ever since then we have been able to clearly communicate and relate to each other. This has helped us to discuss her requirements and sort out a later problem. Strangely though, she still seems to speak to her husband in the same way, poor chap.

Gordon tells me that I helped her to realise the potential of her own needs while at the same time alleviating my own stress. This one occasion has helped me to understand the relationship between my surrounding, my feeling and my level of stress.

Richard, SUSSEX